My Fair Lady
by Miss Moral
Summary: Remember Henry Higgins and Eliza Doolittle from the movie My Fair Lady? Here is my HP version of it. Harry met Hermione outside the theater on a rainy night. With Harry as the paranoid phonetics professor and Hermione as the terrible accented flower girl,
1. The Phonetics Professor and the Flower G

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling (Harry Potter series), George Bernard Shaw (Pygmalion), various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, Warner Bros., Inc and the MGM movies. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

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My Fair Lady- The Phonetics Professor and the Flower Girl

Harry Potter strolled onto the wet street of London from the theater. He stretched as the crowd brushed past him. Harry leant against the elegant Roman poll by the theater as he waited for the crowd to leave. Feeling rather tired, Harry closed his eyes and yawned.

Suddenly, Harry's rather trained ears caught a disgusting sound among the nobles standing around him. As a wizard professor of phonetics, Harry immediately knew that the sound came from no noble but from a commoner. A very uneducated commoner at that. Whoever this person was, she definitely came from some gutter of the most stinky street of some dirty cities save London.

"Flowers! Sir, a penny for a bunch of pretty flowers! Sir? Have you got a penny to spare? One penny and the flower is yours." A rather dirty looking bushy brown haired flower girl was provoking the elegant nobles standing by. Her accent was terrible. It was no proper English and the sound was more than most nobles could bear. Most people gave her a penny for her flowers just to shut her up.

Harry couldn't leave this wonderful opportunity of studying the disgusting English dialect slip past. Quickly, he drew his wand from the hollow gentleman walking stick he was leaning on. He muttered, "Recordantimos!" under his breath and began to record the girl's speech.

Now the girl was bothering a very tired looking blond gentleman near by, who like Harry, was also waiting for the crowd to leave. "One penny for flower. One penny and help a poor girl pay her rent. Sir, a penny to spare?" the girl bellowed into the poor gentleman's ears. The blond gentleman was clearly frightened by the girl's ugly speech. He reached into his pocket and gave the girl a shilling and begged her to go away as the girl tried to gave him her flowers.

Harry was so enjoying himself with recording that he had forgotten that Muggles were not used to see people walking around with wands.

"Miss?" an equally disturbing voice called out to the flower girl. "That gentleman over there is pointing a stick at you no matter where you stood."

Harry quickly slipped his wand back into the hollow walking stick as heads turned to him. He pointed his walking stick at the girl, pretending that was exactly what he had been pointing with the whole time.

"Sir, what have I done that you have to point that stick at me?" the flower girl wailed. "Look, this gentleman is pointing a stick at a poor flower girl for nothing and still call himself gentleman. I haven't done anything wrong, have I?"

Harry put down his walking stick and walked over to the girl. "You, my dear, had done wrong by not speaking properly." He turned around and addressed to the crowd around him. "Look at her, a prisoner of the gutter, condemned by every syllable she ever uttered. By law she should be taken out and hung, for the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue."

The bushy brunette was clearly frightened by Harry's words. "Aoooow!" she moaned.

Harry continued his long speech of how proper English was disappearing through the ages. He was getting so worked up that he was going from person to person and ask them why they wouldn't teach their children to speak properly. "In France every Frenchman knows his language fro 'A' to 'Z'. The French never care what they do, actually as long as they pronounce in properly. Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning and Hebrews learn it backwards, which is absolutely frightening. But use proper English you're regarded as a freak. Why can't the English.... Why can't the English learn to speak?" Harry concluded exasperatedly. It was then that he had finally noticed that most of the crowd from the theater had already left and he was stuck among the poor and the lowly outside the theater. That is, if you don't count the blond man eyeing him with interests.

"You seemed to be a well learnt phonetician," the blond gentleman said. "Maybe you know of my friend, Harry Potter. We met in college but parted when he followed his dream with phonetics and me with my ambition in military."

Harry turned abruptly. "England, India, with a little mixture of France. Why, are you not my dear enemy, Draco Malfoy?"

Draco clapped Harry on the back. "I never thought you'd be here."

"And I never thought you'd arrive a day early," grinned Harry. "How have you been all these years? Never heard of you once since you left for India. Come, you are to stay on the Wimpole Street with me and fill me up with all these blank years."

Harry was just about to walk off with Draco when he was stopped by that annoying flower girl. "Sir, a penny to spare? One penny and you can have the last flower in the basket."

Harry glanced at Draco, who was holding onto the flowers he just brought with great embarrassment. "No thank you, Miss. I think those flowers are hideous."

Hermione was very much insulted. She bellowed on the top of her lungs with the worst accent she could manage, "You horrible nasty rat! My flowers are not hideous!" She threw her basket at Harry and hit him squarely on the back. "Take that! You can have the basket too if you have one penny. You insolent fake gentleman! You probably don't even have a penny."

Harry turned in mock polite and raised his hat. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a several silver coins, which he thrown into the basket lying by his feet. He then turned and walked off with Draco. However, before he left, Harry turned and jeered at Hermione. "Listen, flower girl, one month and I could turn you into a shop keeper from what you are right now." Laughing hard with Draco, they walked away.

Hermione quickly ran over to her basket and counted all the silver coins. One pound the insolent man had given her in total! She pocketed the money happily. She couldn't care less of what the man said to her. At least she was paid for her humiliation and she was used to it anyway.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Early next morning, Hermione was gathering flowers she was going to sell for the day. Suddenly, someone tapped her on the shoulder. She knew instantly who was there. "Seamus! Go away!" Hermione complained.

Sure enough, Hermione's good for nothing drunkard older brother and his equally corrupted friends, Neville and Dean, stood behind her, grinning like idiots. "Good morning, Hermione!" Seamus greeted.

"Go away!" Hermione turned. Doubtlessly, her brother and his friends were there to get money off her so they could get drinks.

"Hermione, please! I heard you were lucky last night. How could you see your own brother starve while you have so much money? Have a heart!" Seamus pulled Hermione's arm back towards them.

Hermione struggled. "Leave me alone!"

Seamus grinned cheekily. "Money?"

"Fine!" Hermione gave her brother a shilling. "Don't ever come back again!"

Seamus and his friends skipped away happily without even thanking his sister.

Hermione glared after her brother angrily. She vowed that she would never give him another penny if she could help it. But she had broken her vows so many times that she seriously doubt that she would keep it this time.

Hermione picked up her basket full of flowers and began another tiring day of flower selling. Secretly, she hoped that she would meet the crazy phonetic professor again even if he was a little odd. He was interesting, not to mention generous. She really wouldn't mind being made fun of by him again if he would only give her another pound. However, she seriously doubted her luck.

At lunch time, Hermione wandered back to the theater where she first met the professor. The last words of the professor rang in her ear over and over again. _"Listen, flower girl, one month and I could turn you into a shop keeper from what you are right now."_

A shop keeper! Why didn't she thought of it before? Being a shop keeper, she could earn a steady wage without being insulted. It would be a much nicer job and she wouldn't need to run in sweat all day long. But to be a shop keeper, she would have to speak clearly and that's where the professor comes in. A few days ago, Hermione would thought it was joke if someone told her that she could be a shop keeper. Now she had hopes. She knew that learning with the professor would mean that she would have to put up with his insults for a whole month. However, she was willing to take them. After all, the professor didn't seem too bad with his friend, the blond haired gentleman. Maybe the professor was only mean to those who weren't his friends.

Hermione put down her basket of flower and began to walk towards the Wimpole Street. A look of determination hung on her face as she moved. Nothing was going to stop her from learning to be a shop keeper. That Harry professor could taunt her, insult her, tease her, but he wouldn't be able to dissuade her from learning. She was going to be a shop keeper and that was final.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

In Harry's lounge on Wimpole Street, Harry and Draco were having a heated argument over whether their magic college professors, McGonagall and Snape, should get marry or not. It was on the Daily Prophet that morning, announcing their engagement.

"Blimely, Potter, what is it that you have got against Snape? I know he was mean to you back at school, but it was only because you were in Gryffindor. Snape isn't that bad a person," said Draco.

"But McGonagall! She's Gryffindor! That just wouldn't work!" argued Harry.

"Well, I have to admit that it was a surprise. I never thought I'd live the day to see McGonagall getting married."

"Neither did I thought that I'd see Snape's," agreed Harry.

There was a knock on the door and Lavender Brown, another fellow Gryffindor and was now Harry's housekeeper, walked in.

"Harry? There's a rather dirty looking girl outside, demanding to see you. She had a very loud voice and nasty accent. Should I bring her in?" asked Lavender.

"Nasty accent, you said?" Harry's eyebrows raised with interests. It was very interesting that he should meet so many girls with nasty accent in two days. "All right, bring her in. We can study her a little."

Lavender nodded and walked out of the lounge to open the door for the dirty girl.

As soon as Lavender left, Harry turned and grinned to Draco. "Well, Malfoy, seems to me that you are in luck. You are about to witness a very thorough study of phonetics. Yes, even better than yesterday. We will look in depth of this girl's accent. Now, take out your wand and say, 'recordantimos" the moment she walked in. Point your wand at her all the time and record every sound she made. Is that clear?"

Draco saluted in jokingly. "Yes, Sir Potter!"

Both men were ready as Lavender and, assumably, the dirty girl's footsteps neared. Harry and Draco's minds were both focused on their tasks.

The door opened and Lavender walked in. Behind her, was a very dirty girl dressed in an ugly black dress covered in mud spots. The girl had bushy brown hair, dark chocolate eyes and rather large front teeth. She smiled gracefully (in Harry's opinion, disturbingly) and walked in front of Harry and Draco.

Harry studied the girl for a second and groaned out aloud, "Oh, not you again!"

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A/N: This is the first chapter. I know it's very similar to the movie version of _My Fair Lady_, but it's the best that I can do at the moment. I'll try to make it more original in the later chapters coming up. Thanks for reading and I hope you like it. Since you have already read it, why not drop a line and tell me what you think and how I could improve in my next chapter? It'll be a lot of help and won't take you a minuet. Thanks! 


	2. Draco Malfoy and His Bet

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling (Harry Potter series), George Bernard Shaw (Pygmalion), various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, Warner Bros., Inc and the MGM movies. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

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My Fair Lady- Draco Malfoy and His Bet

Harry eyed Hermione with dislikes. _How dare she even enter his clean and precious house? Now she had mud dripping all over his carpet and she isn't even useful to study because they've already studied her the night before._

However, Hermione was totally unaware of what went on in Harry's mind. "Mister, yesterday you say you would teach me to be a shop keeper. I thought I would take up the offer and here I am. I would pay for my lessons too. How much money would you like for a lesson?" Hermione said all that in her best accent and her most polite tone. Harry nearly died of over consumption of nasty speech.

"Ok, so you would like to pay me. Let's calculate the cost," Harry managed to put on his smoothest face and pretended to smile. "Because you will have to live here to study, don't think I want you to ruin your trained accent among your gutter friends, that's one pound a day for food and accommodation. Then there's the cost for the actual lesson, which we'll make as another pound a day. Then you have to buy clothes...."

Before Harry could finish, Hermione let out a cry, "Two pounds a day and more extra! How am I going to find all that money? I earn one pound a day at most! How am I going to find two pounds and more for you? I'm not even allowed to work after this. You... you meanie!" Hermione broke down into a series of sobs.

Harry turned away. He knew he couldn't stand the tears of a woman, but he was equally determined that he wouldn't teach Hermione, for he didn't think he could stand months of listening to that dreadful accent.

Surprisingly, it was Draco Malfoy who did something very shocking. He walked over to Hermione and patted her on the shoulder. He asked Hermione to sit down on Harry's couch.

"Malfoy!" shouted Harry in surprise. "What happened to you?" That was definitely not the Draco Malfoy he knew of.

Draco Malfoy gave Hermione his handkerchief. "Here, dry your tears with this instead of your sleeves." He then turned around to face Harry. "What do you mean by 'what happened to you'? Nothing, except that I've learnt a few important things while I'm in India. One of them is that everyone has feeling. What happened to you? I thought being friends with Weasel would have made you a goody-two-shoes gentleman. How come your personality is now more similar to mine than his?"

Harry didn't answer. The truth was that he really didn't want to take Hermione in as a student. It wasn't that he couldn't be bothered to make a lady out of this wench because it could have been quite a challenge and he would have done it for free just for fun, but because there was a voice in his head warning him that things won't ever be the same the minuet he took her in. What won't be the same, Harry wasn't sure. However, he had long decided that whatever it was, it would be a bad thing.

Hermione listened to the men talking while wiping tears with Draco's handkerchief.

Draco eyed Harry with interests. "Why aren't you talking now? Why won't you have a heart and take the poor girl in? She doesn't mean any harm apart from the fact that she just want to learn to speak nicely. Isn't it your life long ambition to make everyone on Britain to speak good English? What's the reason?"

Of course Harry couldn't voice out his true reason. It would be too cynical and Malfoy would just laugh at him for listening to voices from his head. "Why should I? She's just a dirty Muggle anyway. I never thought I'd see the day of you sympathizing with Muggles."

Hermione decided that she wouldn't tolerate with this insult anymore. She stood up and began to yell in Harry's ear, "What is 'Muggle'? What ever it is, I am not one and I am definitely not dirty. Why, I wash my face and hands before I come, I did."

No one was listening to Hermione. Harry and Draco were in mist of their 'friendly' fight.

"That's hardly a good enough reason. She won't be a Muggle if you taught her magic as well," said Draco.

"Are you out of your wits?" shouted Harry. "I don't teach magic. I teach phonetics, not magic!"

Hermione was very confused. What was all that magic talk about?

Draco was determined to help Hermione, whom he had grown to like in just a few minuets. He was also interested to witness Harry in action, not as in fighting Voldemort, his previous occupation, but as in teaching a topic he loved. With a blink, the old Draco Malfoy was back. He smirked as he said, "Well, Potter, I guess you are just not up to teaching. You can't teach, can you? I bet you can't."

Harry was red in the face. His typical reaction to the 'Malfoy Tease' was taking over him once more. "I so can teach. I've taught dirty Muggle in gutter into a fluent speaking wizard first month back from fighting Voldemort!"

"Then prove it," Draco smirked. He knew Harry's trapped. He could never back out of it now.

Harry realized what he had been tricked into doing just then. "Oops!" he gasped.

Draco smiled evilly. "Well, there's no back out now, Potter. Now, here's the bet, I bet you couldn't turn this dirty Muggle with nasty speech into a fluent speaking witch by the end of December. To test if you achieved your goal, we would take her to Hogwarts' Christmas Ball for Old Girls and Old Boys with us. If she passed and even fooled Dumbledore respectfully, you win the bet; if not, I win. However, if you refuse to take it up, then you would lose automatically."

Harry winced secretly. He really didn't want to take up the bet, but the Malfoy Tease Effect was too strong. "What's the prize then?

Draco laughed. "If you won, I would pay for all her costs staying here plus any bonus. I would also give you the newest Firebolt VII. If I won, you won't get a cent for her cost nor the bonus. You would also have to give me a enchanted BMW, which you can probably get cheaply from the Weasel's father. Deal?"

Harry gritted his teeth. The prize was overwhelming. If he refused to take up, his lost would be too great. Finally, Harry gritted his teeth and said, "Deal!"

Hermione stood up immediately with fear. She was sort of getting a slightest hint of where this professor and his friend came from. "Magic? Witch and wizard? I am not doing this! Why did I ever come to wizards for help? Dear Lord!"

Hermione turned and headed for the door as she realized that both Harry and Draco were wizards. As a Muggle, Hermione though all wizards and witches were bad people. She grabbed the handle and was about to run off when Harry grabbed her by shoulder. "Ah! Don't touch me! I am a good girl I am! I've been a good girl and not deserve to be harmed by wicked wizards like you. I am a good girl I am! Oh, I am I am!" Hermione screeched.

Harry pulled her back into the lounge. "I thought you wanted to learn how to speak properly. Look, if you'll stay here and be the good girl as you said you had been and learn whatever I am teaching you, you would be given treats. You would get some lovely dresses, which our kind Sir Malfoy is going to provide, and money to ride on pretty cabs. If you have been really, really good, you would also be given as much chocolate you'd like everyday," Harry said as he grabbed a plate of chocolate on his table and dangled it in front of Hermione.

Hermione had never seen so much chocolate in her whole life. Sure, she had had some when she had been lucky on the street, but never so much in one place. She eyed the chocolate longingly and Harry show it to her.

Finally, she couldn't resist anymore. She must have some of that chocolate before she leaves. With a hand outstretched, Hermione tried to grab the plat from Harry's hand.

Harry, who was a lot taller, moved the plat upwards just as Hermione grabbed for it, caused Hermione to fall on his arm. "Ah uh, you are not getting any unless you agree to stay and be a good girl."

Hermione's eyes were only on the chocolate. Quickly, she nodded and agreed. "All right, I'll stay and learn whatever you will teach me."

Draco smiled in the distance. For a moment, he really thought this girl was going to slip through Harry's charm, which was a difficult thing to do because he had seen many girls fell in front of Harry back in Hogwarts.

"Very good," Harry gave Hermione a piece of chocolate, which Hermione gobbled up greedily. "Now, before we start on anything, you need a thorough clean up."

Hermione was still entranced by the taste of chocolate and wasn't paying attention to Harry.

Harry put down the plate and took up a bell. "Lavender!" he yelled. "Lavender! Come here for a little!"

Lavender walked in to the lounge. "Yes, Sir?"

Harry smiled. "I've just taken Miss... um, what your name?"

"Granger, Hermione Granger," Hermione said, still entranced by chocolate.

"Yes, I've taken Miss Granger up as a student here to study speech and magic with me. Now, you should take her up to her room and clean her up. I think all that rubbish on her could be burnt. Get her something new...." Harry was interrupted before he could finish.

"Mr. Potter! You can't take in a girl like picking up sea shells from the beach! That's indecent especially when there's no Mrs. Potter in resident here!"

"Oh, Lavender, I'll do what I see fit. Now go and attend to your job."

Lavender curtsied. "As you wish, Mr. Potter."

With a snap of her fingers, Lavender summoned two maids into the lounge and precede to drag Hermione out of the lounge.

Hermione struggled as she was dragged upstairs. "Where are you taking me? The professor said no one would harm me if I'm a good girl! I'm a good girl I am!"

However, Lavender and the other two maids didn't listen to her and dragged her into a beautiful white lacy room.

Hermione was stunned. "I must be dreaming. This must be the Queen's Palace! Why, I would be afraid to touch anything."

No one answered, Lavender and the two maids walked into a small side room that had steam coming out of it. Hermione also walked there in curiosity. "Is this where you wash your clothes?" She stuck her hand in the steaming tub in the middle. "Awfully hot, I say. Wouldn't that damage your clothes?"

The door behind her closed. Lavender and the other two maids walked in with their wands out. Hermione thought they look murderous. "I'm a good girl I am! Don't harm me! Ah!" she screamed as Lavender began to mutter a series of spells and yellow lights hit her as her clothes began to fall. Another maid levitated her into the boiling hot bath tub. Hermione struggled and splashed water all over the place when the other maid cast the last spell that ensured her to stay in the bath tub.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Harry nearly bumped into the maid levitating Hermione's dirty clothes into the kitchen. He pulled out his wand and set the clothes on fire immediately. "Now you go and buy Hermione something nice and simple," he ordered the maid.

The maid curtsied and left.

Draco walked by Harry as woman's screamed rang in the house. "You know, Potter, much as I'd love to see you charm other girls' pants off, I cannot allow you to take advantage of Miss Granger here. The reason being simple as I am in this. Evil that I am, I don't believe in you hurting other girls now I have just returned from India."

Harry turned. "Are you the Draco Malfoy that I once know? But don't worry, I won't and the reason is very simple. Well after all, Malfoy, I'm an ordinary man, who desires nothing more than an ordinary chance to live exactly as he likes, and do precisely what he wants. An average man am I, of no eccentric whim, who likes to live his life, free of strife, doing whatever he thinks is best for him. Well... just an ordinary man.... BUT, let a woman in your life and your serenity is through. She'll redecorate your home, from the cellar to the dome, and then go on to the enthralling fun of overhauling you...." Harry continued and gave Draco a million reasons why he would never let a woman into his life and how sure he was of not taking any advantages of Hermione.

" I shall never let a woman in my life," concluded Harry definitely with a nod.

Draco Malfoy smiled. Well, he thought, things could happen.

Harry sat down and pulled out a quill and some parchments. "With that hard case to crack, I must be fully prepared to win our bet.

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A/N: Thank you for the reviews. They were lovely. Please leave more reviews so I can improve. All criticisms welcome. Some people asked me where are Ron and Ginny? Well, I do assure you that they would come in later as some very big roles. They will be here, so please wait patiently. Once again, thank you for reading this chapter and by all means, do review since you are here already. Thank you.


	3. This is a Nightmare

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling (Harry Potter series), George Bernard Shaw (Pygmalion), various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, Warner Bros., Inc and the MGM movies. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

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My Fair Lady- This is a Nightmare

Hermione was tied on a chair in a small stuffy room of Harry's house on the Wimpole Street as she practiced her speech. Dozens of wooden sticks, which were also known as wands, were placed around her. Well, pointing directly at her, to be exact. 

"Eh..." Hermione tried her best to pronounce "A" properly. She couldn't tell what was wrong with her pronunciation at all. Harry insisted that she should learn to speak clearly before any magic, or else drastic disaster could occur. Of course she couldn't speak clearly. Why else would she be here studying? However, Hermione thought it was unnecessary to worry about her vowels because there was nothing wrong with her vowels. 

"Eh..." Hermione tried once more as she gazed at the charmed quill scribbling furiously in front of her. 

_Terrible sound. Horrible pronunciation. There are absolutely no hopes in this girl_. The quill wrote on as Hermione tried again to satisfy the pen and hoped again for better comments. 

"Eh..." After Hermione moved into Harry's house, she had seen Harry, Draco, Lavender and other maids and servants doing amazing works with those wooden wands. She was afraid at first but soon grown accustomed to it. She was now fascinated by magic and tried all she could to beg Harry or Draco to teach magic to her. Now, learning magic was also on Hermione's to-do list while she was at Harry's place. 

"EH..." Hermione was shrieking with frustration now. The quill still wouldn't give her any nice comments. It was just repeating what it had written over and over again in the last six hours. It was just a simple "A" after all. 

Suddenly, Harry burst through the doors. Hermione looked at him as if she was looking at the Savior of the Universe. 

Harry was dressed in some simple shirt and pants. Obviously, he had spent his morning running around the park with Draco. He stopped the quill and examined Hermione's progress. 

Hermione glanced at the clock. Two-thirty, it read. She was starved. She hadn't had any food since Harry Potter dragged her from her bed at eight o'clock that morning. She could really do with some lunch right now. However, Harry's next words shattered whatever fantasy Hermione had about her up coming lunch. 

"Look at this!" Harry yelled. "Dreadful, dreadful, dreadful! You can't even pronounce your vowels properly. You could hardly be expected to say a sentence clearly, let alone doing a spell! No, I don't want your excuses. Save your breaths for more practices. You will only have dinner when you get an 'OK' from the quill. Now get back to work!" 

Harry walked out of the stuffy little room and banged the door on his way out, and left a sweaty Hermione all tied up on the chair. 

Hermione had never felt so angry in her whole life. Never had she been more humiliated. She thought she had her worst on the night she met Harry, but no, worse were coming. Why had she ever bothered to ask this arrogant professor to teach her anything at all? Chocolate. How did she ever fall for chocolate? 

As she stared angrily after Harry, an amazing thing happened. The ropes binding Hermione to the chair suddenly snapped. She was able to stand up freely. Hermione made her way to the door and peer out. No one was there in the foyer. The house was silent. Hermione supposed that either the whole house went out or that everyone were dead. Either way, she was going to have a rest. 

Hermione glided into the middle of the house and began to pour out her daylong hatred for Harry Potter. "Just you wait, 'arry 'otter, just you wait! You'll be sorry, but your tears'll be to late! You'll be broke, and I'll have money. Will I help you? Don't be funny! Just you wait, 'arry 'otter, just you wait! Just you wait, 'arry 'otter, till you're sick. And you scream to fetch a doctor double-quick. I'll be off a second later and go straight to the the-ater! Oh ho ho, 'arry 'otter, just you wait! Ooooooh 'arry 'otter! Just you wait until we're swimmin' in the sea! Ooooooh 'arry 'otter! And you get a cramp a little ways from me! When you yell you're going to drown I'll get dressed and go to town! Oh ho ho, 'arry 'otter! Oh ho, 'arry 'otter! Just you wait! One day I'll be famous! I'll be proper and prim. Go to St. James so often I will call it St. Jim! One evening the king will say, "Oh, 'Mione, old thing, I want all of England your praises to sing. Next week on the twentieth of May I proclaim 'Mione Granger Day! All the people will celebrate the glory of you and whatever you wish and want I gladly will do." "Thanks a lot, King,¡¨ says I, in a manner well bred. But all I want is 'arry 'otter 'ead!" "Done," says the King with a stroke. "Guard, run and bring in the bloke!" Then they'll march you, 'arry 'otter to the wall. And the King will tell me: "'Mione, sound the call." As they lift their rifles higher, I'll shout, "Ready! Aim! Fire!" Oh ho, 'arry 'otter. Down you'll go, 'arry 'otter! Just you wait!" 

Hermione was completely entranced by her vivid imagination. She laughed triumphantly, when Harry's voice boomed behind her. 

"A..." said Harry. 

Hermione turned abruptly. She gasped as she saw Harry stood at the top of the stairs behind her with the same expression he usually wore. Hermione blushed deeply and ran back to the stuffy little room to practice her vowels. 

Harry grinned as he went back to his study upstairs, where Draco was sitting. 

"Never knew that she could sing before, did you? Anyhow, Potter, don't you think you are pushing her too hard? It's only her first day. You are going to scare her off," Draco said. 

Harry sat down before Draco and sighed, "She's going to need every second she gets in my house, or she would never get it done by Christmas. Her vowels are awful. If she can't speak clearly, she definitely won't be able to study magic. You do realize that we have to squish in our seven years' work in Hogwarts plus all the common knowledge a witch should have, along with her phonetics lessons before Christmas, don't you?" 

Draco chuckled, "Potter, if I don't know better, I'd say you are scared that you'd lose the bet. Relax; there are still six months to Christmas yet. I dare say that you have caught the over-working disease from your old Quidditch captain, Oliver Wood." 

Harry stood up. He revealed a large role of parchment. "No, you don't get it." With a swish, Harry opened the role, which was a good ten feet long. "This is the amount of work we need to get done before Christmas." 

Draco's eyes nearly rolled out of their socket when he saw the list. However, before he could comment, Lavender opened the door. "Harry?" she asked. 

"Yes?" answered Harry, who rubbed his temple as he turned around. He couldn't believe that it was only the first day of Hermione's lessons and he was already getting headaches. "What is it?" 

"There's a man with nasty speech outside asking to see you," came the reply. 

Harry put up a hand. "No, send him away. I am occupied." 

Before anyone could speak, Seamus had invited himself into the study. "Nice place, eh? No wonder Hermione abandoned her little basement." 

Harry's attention turned to this dirty little street sweeper immediately. "You know Hermione?" 

"Oh yes, I know Hermione all right," Seamus winked. "She's my sister. I know more, you know. You just took my baby sister here to live with you and told her that she wouldn't need any clothes. No clothes? Ha! I know there won't be any good coming from her living with you, Professor Potter." Seamus eyes Harry and Draco, unsure of who was the Professor Potter. 

Draco stood back. He wasn't planning to be involved in this. He merely looked on with a look of amusement on his face. 

Harry walked over to the table and poured out a glass of Firewhisky. "Drink? No? Ok, straight to the business then." Harry took a long sip from the glass. "I assure you that Sir Malfoy and I are not practicing anything illegal here. However, if you feel obliged to take Miss Granger with you, then you are most certainly welcome to. Lavender? Get Miss Granger and send her home with Mr. Granger." 

"No, Professor," Seamus stopped Harry immediately. "I don't want Hermione going back with me. Today I'm only here to check if she's all right. Seeing such a good and kind professor you are, I see that my conscience can rest. However, I'd like to get a little more reassurance." Seamus winked again. 

Harry raised his eyebrows. "How much?" 

"Five pounds. Just five pounds and you can do whatever you'd like with my sister," came Seamus's answer. 

"Five? That's cheap. I think I'll give you ten." 

"Oh no, Professor Potter. I'm not a greedy man. Only five would do. Just a little to drink and a little to spend, I am a content man. Give me five and keep the rest and use them on my baby sister," Seamus replied earnestly. 

Harry gave Seamus five pounds and sent him down stairs. "Are you absolutely sure that you don't want ten?" 

Seamus only waved and left. 

"You know, Malfoy, I think this little Mr. Granger can be entered into that morality speech competition I was asked to speak in. Lavender, arrange it so that Mr. Granger would take my place in the morality speech competition next week. A very interesting man he is," Harry said and glanced at the small side room. "Better check up on Hermione now, I guess. This is going to be some long months." 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Days went by and Hermione's speech had hardly improved. She still couldn't pronounce her vowels properly. She was getting very sick of phonetics and even the thought of studying magic or eating chocolate couldn't cheer her up anymore.  
It was a dark stormy night of the second week since she took up her study with Harry. Every servant had already gone to bed already. The only people still up in the house were Harry, Hermione and Draco. They were still working on the vowels. Harry gave her a line to read. 

"The rayne in Spayne staiys maynely on the playne," Hermione said. It was very late and she had hardly eaten anything that day for she hadn't gotten one vowel right. 

Harry sprawled on his favorite couch with a bag of ice sitting on his head. His headache had turned into a severe fever. However, he was determined not to rest and continued to teach Hermione through his illness. He had to win the bet. "Again, Hermione. It's _rain_, not _rayne_," Harry corrected weakly. 

Draco was half asleep in the other couch. 

_This is a nightmare!_ Hermione screamed silently._ I'm in a nightmare._

"Go on!" Harry tried to yell at Hermione, but his voice was all gone. 

Draco turned onto his side and began to snore. 

"The rayne in Spayne staiys maynely on the playne," Hermione tried once more without success. 

Harry sighed. This is hopeless. "Again, Hermione. Say _Spain_ instead of _Spayne_." 

Hermione broke down into sobs. She couldn't do it. She was just a big disappointment for everyone. Harry would lose his bet with Draco and Draco would be angry to see her unsuccessful after all the trouble he had gone into. Tears rolled uncontrollably down her cheeks. 

"Hermione, you can do it," Harry encouraged. This was the first kind word he had ever said to Hermione since they met. "I know you can. You have the potentials. Try one more time. The _rain_ in S_pain stays mainly _on the _plain_." 

Hermione stared in front of her for a little. She concentrated on the vowels she should pronounce._ I mustn't let him down_, Hermione told herself before giving it one more go. Despite of her anger towards Harry for his unfair treatment towards her, Hermione found herself constantly trying to please him in every possible way. 

She opened her mouth and the most amazing whisper in the world came out. "The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain." 

¡@

A/N: Thank you again for reading and reviewing. Last time, people complained about my grammar and suggested that I should get a Beta. I did and thanks to Meghan, my fabulous Beta, my grammar should be a lot better this time. At least, I hope she had picked them all out this time. Also, someone asked me, why is Draco acting like Harry and Harry like Draco. That's because Draco had learnt a few lessons hard enough while he was in India and Harry is keep a distance from Hermione on purpose. Harry doesn't usually act that way, but he is trying his best not to get close to Hermione for a reason. Therefore he had to put on some "Malfoy Hostility" to arm himself. Sorry about the confusion and thank you once again for reading this story.


	4. Parvati's Quidditch Patch

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling (Harry Potter series), George Bernard Shaw (Pygmalion), Frederick Loewe and Alan Jay Lerner (My Fair Lady, the musical) various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, Warner Bros., Inc and the MGM movies. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

My Fair Lady- Parvarti's Quidditch Pitch

Harry was stunned. "The what?" 

"The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain," repeated Hermione. She had a glazed look on her face, still damp with tears, as if she was a porcelain doll. 

Draco turned again in his sleep, this time towards the floor, and fell head first to the floor. "What have I missed?" he said sleepily as he picked himself up. "Look, Potter, I know you are doing your best to help Hermione here, but you are really going too far." 

Harry silenced his friend with a wave of his arm. "Shh! Hermione, say that again." Harry wasn't tired at all now. He could feel energy flowing into his body as he stared continuously at Hermione. 

"The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain," Hermione said once again dully. However, she caught Harry staring at her, and thus looked back at him with confusion. "What? Oh!" Hermione realized what was happening when she saw Draco's dropped jaws. "The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain!" Hermione's face lit up with a radiant glow. She knew then that she had done it right. 

Harry leapt to his feet, and for the first time since Hermione had moved in, Harry laughed. 

"The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain," Harry echoed happily as he grabbed Hermione forcefully and hugged her. "The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain!"

Harry had forgotten all of his troubles as he swung Hermione around by her waist. He had forgotten the main reason he refused to be nice to Hermione at all, and he had also forgotten that he was never to let a woman into his life. 

The moment was priceless, as Harry's study was filled with laughter of the three occupants. Draco also joined in as he realized that the torture of teaching Hermione and working with Harry was about to be over.

Almost immediately, Harry pulled out his wand and pointed at Hermione. "Recordantimos!" he exclaimed while gesturing for Hermione to speak. 

"The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain," Hermione sang happily.

The magic quill immediately leapt to life and scribbled on the parchment beneath it. 

"Wonderful! Faultless! Very good vowels!" yelled Draco as he picked up the parchment and read the result. 

Harry jumped around happily and pulled Hermione along with him. He put a hand on her waist and waltzed around the room. When they waltzed near his desk, he reached out and pulled another sheet from his desk. He gave the piece of paper to Hermione to read. 

"In Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire, hurricanes hardly happen," sang Hermione. 

Draco read off the magic quill report again. "Good H's. Very well done." 

Harry yelled, as he lifted Hermione into the air, "You did it! Hermione, you did it!" 

Suddenly, the study door opened and revealed a very tired looking Lavender. "Harry? What's going on here? Draco? Hermione? What on earth was all that noise about?" 

The three turned towards her curiously. "Noise? What noise?" asked a seemingly puzzled Harry. 

Draco also shook his head wildly. "There hasn't been any sound at all. Lavender, you must be dreaming." Hermione just stood by with a dreamy look on her face, as she must have been more than happy about her achievements. 

Lavender stared at them. "No, I was woken by a series of loud sounds. Are you sure there hasn¡¦t been anything going on here?" 

Harry grinned widely. "Lavender, you must be getting old. You are hearing noises. Maybe you have finally found the gift Trelawney predicted, many years ago, that you should have gotten." 

Lavender rolled her eyes, as Harry just would not stop teasing her about her old fascination with their Divination teacher. "Really, Harry, would you please look at the time? It's three-thirty in the morning! What on earth are you doing at this hour of night?" 

Draco interrupted with a big toothy smile. "We were teaching Hermione, of course, and guess what? She's got it!" 

Lavender glanced at Hermione's direction for a second, and then immediately after, exploded. "Look at what you've done to the poor girl! Potter and Malfoy, you two have driven the poor dear insane!" Lavender grabbed Hermione by her arm and pulled her towards the door. "Come dear, it's time for bed. Don't listen to these idiots. As for you two, you'd better go to bed right now before I hex you into next millennium!" 

"Of course, Miss Brown!" Harry and Draco grinned from ear to ear as they bowed to Lavender and headed toward their rooms. They talked excitedly as they walked away. 

"Shall we test her out?" 

"Not so soon, Potter. Not so soon." 

"But that would be fun, and I think she could do it. What about next week's Quidditch match at my sister's place? We have a week to teach her all the general knowledge, just to make sure she doesn't try to do spells or anything, so then she'd be all right." 

"Maybe, I don't know." 

Meanwhile, Lavender tugged Hermione by her sleeves. "Come dear, you should be in bed too." She snapped her fingers and two sleepy maids in their nightdresses appeared.

Hermione followed Lavender's tugs reluctantly. She complained as Lavender and the two other maids pulled her along. "Bed! Bed! I can¡¦t go to bed! My head's too light to try and set it down! Sleep! Sleep! I can¡¦t sleep tonight! Not for all the jewels in the crown! I could have danced all night, and still have begged for more. I could have spread my wings and done a thousand things I've never done before. I'll never know what made it so exciting; why all at once my heart took flight. I only know that when he began to dance with me I could have danced all night!" 

Lavender and the two maids all shook their heads and sighed in unison. "The poor soul has been driven mad." 

Hermione couldn't care less of what the others thought about her. She was still dazed by the fact that she could speak proper English now, and that Harry had just danced with her. How she longed to be back in Harry's arms! It had been the most pleasant time Hermione had ever had in her entire life, not to mention that it was really her first dance ever. 

The two maids pulled Hermione's nightdress on for her, and Lavender tucked her in. "I understand, dear, that it¡¦s all been grand. But now it's time to sleep," Lavender said sternly to the overwhelmed girl. "Good night, and have pleasant dreams." 

The three left Hermione in the dark and went back to their beds. However, Hermione still wasn't finished yet. She leapt up from her bed and began to dance on the floor. She didn't knew what it meant, but all she knew was that she was very happy and she really enjoyed dancing with Harry. She spun and twirled until she was no longer conscious. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

A very pleasant week went by. Hermione's speech was now more than perfect. Harry and Draco agreed to take Hermione out to the first Quidditch match of the season. They had been trying to fill Hermione with as much common knowledge of the wizarding world as possible. 

It wasn't as though Hermione wasn't learning anything. In fact, both Harry and Draco discovered that she was a fast learner, and all of her problems in learning had disappeared once her speech problem had been solved. She no longer needed to be locked up and practice her speech. She was free to go anywhere she liked and have as much chocolate as she wanted.Whenever Harry and Draco weren't telling her about the wizarding world, she would be reading about it in Harry's library. Being the vigorous reader she was, Hermione read _Hogwarts: A History_, _Quidditch Through the Ages_ and _The Standard Book of Spells: Grade One_ by the end of the week. Both Harry and Draco thought that she would be fine at the match. However, things sometimes never went as they were originally planned. 

"Remember, Hermione, no magic today," Harry reminded her once more before he gave her the Floo powder in front of the fireplace. "I know you've read all about the spells, but you are not to do any such magic today. Be good and remember that you are a witch now, not a Muggle." 

Hermione nodded nervously. She was dressed in a pretty dark blue robe, with her new wand tucked safely away in the pocket. She had gone shopping with Lavender the day before in Diagon Alley. Slowly, Hermione stepped into the fireplace and reached out for the Floo powder. 

"Remember to speak clearly, and don't run around once you get there. Parvati, Harry's sister and the owner of the pitch, will be there waiting for you," Draco reminded her again as Harry handed Hermione the Floo powder. 

"Parvati's Quidditch Pitch!" Hermione squealed in a very high-pitched voice. Then, with a bang, she was gone. 

"I just hope she lands in the right place," Harry muttered. Even his annoyed voice couldn¡¦t conceal the anxiety he felt. 

Draco took one look at Harry's face and understood immediately what he was feeling. "Don't worry, she'll be fine." 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Hermione got to the Quidditch pitch all right. As soon as she had landed, a pretty girl with dark hair came up to her and greeted her in a friendly manner. 

"You must be Harry's sister, Parvati!" exclaimed Hermione. She was very excited, because she hadn't spoken to any other witches or wizards apart from Harry, Draco, Lavender and the other maids and servants. 

Parvati nodded. "Yes, that's me. You know, it's such a pain in the backside having him as a brother. He can be very annoying. Harry..." Parvati didn't have a chance to finish her sentence, for someone else landed in the fireplace. 

"I what?" came Harry's voice. 

Parvati turned. "No, nothing! I was just telling Hermione what a good brother you have been." 

Harry raised a questioning eyebrow. "Really?" He didn't press the subject further, because he spotted someone standing behind Hermione at that precise moment. "Ron! Over here!" 

"Hi Harry!" a tall and redheaded man waved as he walked over. "What have you been up to these days? Still obsessed with that nephonic job you got?" 

Harry laughed. "Yeah, more than ever. And Ron, it¡¦s phonetic." 

Ron's eyes suddenly darted towards Hermione's direction. "Hey, who's this pretty girl you've got here, Harry? Are you sure you've just been working these days?" Ron wriggled his eyebrows. 

"Oh stop it!" Harry complained loudly. "You always say that when I'm near a girl. Don't be silly. Allow me to introduce you to Miss Hermione Granger. She had recently moved here from the United States of America around the same time Malfoy came around. They are both staying in my house at the moment. Hermione, this is Ronald Weasley, my best friend all throughout Hogwarts." 

"Malfoy!" growled Ron as Draco stepped out of the fireplace. "I still don't like him, you know." 

Hermione immediately threw herself in Draco's defense. "Mr. Weaslet, I think you are very much mistaken. Draco is a very nice man." 

"It's Weasley, and you, my pretty, should spend less time with that Malfoy. He could corrupt you for life!" Ron told Hermione as he led her to the Quidditch stand. "Now, tell me more about yourself. I'd love to get to know you more." 

Harry glared at Ron as he and Hermione walked away. He turned around and found Draco smirking with his infamous "Malfoy Smirk". 

"_I would never let a woman in my life_," mimicked Draco as he smirked. 

"Oh shut up, Malfoy!" Harry then found Draco very annoying and walked towards Ron and Hermione. "You are insane. I haven't let any woman into my life." 

"...So Harry telephoned Draco in India and asked, 'Have you seen my slippers?' Draco was still half asleep due to the time difference, and answered, 'Oh, I ate six last night.'" Hermione¡¦s speech caused Ron to laugh uncontrollably as Harry came over to the two of them. 

"You are very amusing, you know. I remember my father telling me about fellytone once. He's obsessed with Muggle inventions. I never paid him any attention, though. I swear he could never make an example as funny as yours." Ron looked admiringly and adoringly at Hermione. 

Harry coughed. "Ahem! The match is starting." 

The pitch was silent as the Quidditch players from both of the opposing teams, Puddlemere United and the Chudley Cannons, mounted their brooms. 

The referee walked into the middle and released the Quaffle. All fourteen players kicked off the ground in a blast as the crowd began to cheer loudly. 

Hermione knew all about the rules, so her eyes followed the game closely. The game was intense, but Hermione herself found it rather boring. She wished that she could have a book with her. 

Suddenly, Hermione spotted the seeker of the Puddlemere United diving straight down towards the ground, causing Hermione to gasp. She had never seen a real Quidditch match before, and didn't know that Quidditch players had all sorts of tricks. Just as everyone fell silent to see if the Puddlemere seeker could catch the Snitch, Hermione began to scream at the top of her lungs. 

"Oh my God! That person is going to kill himself! Someone stop him! Quick, before he hits the ground! Help! Someone pull him back up!" Due to Hermione¡¦s screaming, no one, apart from the Puddlemere seeker himself, was paying any attention to the game. Everyone turned to stare at Hermione. 

Hermione was still oblivious of what she had done wrong. "Hurry! Don't let him kill himself!" 

The seeker was getting closer and closer to the ground: ten feet, five feet, and then two feet. Hermione covered her eyes. 

The seeker caught the Snitch just before he hit the ground. However, he was rather puzzled by the absence of the usual cheering and groaning. He looked up and saw everyone staring at a bushy haired brunette. 

Just then, someone burst out laughing and the whole pitch followed. 

Ron laughed whole-heartedly beside Hermione, as he found her amusing in every way. 

Harry and Draco didn't know whether they should laugh with the others or not. They looked away in the other direction and pretended to laugh awkwardly. 

Hermione heard the laughter and peeked through her fingers, thus seeing the seeker standing unharmed in the middle of the field with the golden Snitch in his hand. She suddenly realized what had happened. 

Hermione began to blush. It started out as a pale shade of pink, and then the color in her cheeks darkened to the shade of Ron's hair. Hermione had no idea how she would ever live this embarrassment down. 

A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing. I haven't got any questions to answer this time, I hope. Anyhow, if you have any questions at all, do ask. I will do my best to answer your questions. Also, a big thank you to my Beta this time- Stella. My Beta for the previous chapter is down with the flu. I do hope she will get better soon.


	5. Hogwarts' Christmas Ball for Old Girls a...

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling (Harry Potter series), George Bernard Shaw (Pygmalion), Frederick Loewe and Alan Jay Lerner (My Fair Lady, the musical) various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, Warner Bros., Inc and the MGM movies. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

¡@

My Fair Lady- Hogwarts' Christmas Ball for Old Girls and Old Boys

Hermione sat sadly in Harry's house on Wimpole Street. She had been absolutely humiliated by herself; she had been the laughing stock of the day. 

"Hermione, don't cry. Everything will be fine. Harry and I will help you, and you won't make a fool of yourself at the Christmas Ball," Draco tried to sooth Hermione.

"Here dear, have a drink," Lavender offered while holding out a glass of water to Hermione, who shook her head and sobbed. Suddenly, the front door was opened and walked in a very annoyed Harry Potter.

Harry wrinkled his nose and grunted, "Ginny Weasley; that annoying girl just won¡¦t leave me in peace." He grabbed the glass of water out of Lavender's hand and drank it in one gulp. "How thoughtful of you, Lavender." He sighed and sank into his favorite couch. "Stop crying, silly girl. Crying won't help you,¡¨ he scolded Hermione.

Hermione stifled a sob, but tears kept streaming out of her large brown eyes. She looked so helpless and vulnerable as she sniffed.

"Shh..." Draco whispered, while patting Hermione on the back soothingly. He looked up and glared at the totally unconcerned Harry. "Honestly, Potter, don't you care at all? Look at the poor girl. She's frightened, scared and humiliated. I thought you had always been the perfect little gentleman. But here you are, sitting there as if you don't have a care in the world, while this girl is crying her eyes out. She's Muggle-born, and has never any wizarding education before. There are certain things you can only learn in Hogwarts. If you are...."

"Shut it, Malfoy!" Harry yelled. "You made the bet with me and asked me to turn her into a witch. I'm on the bet and am doing it. Don't you dare lecture me!"

Just then, Lavender walked in. "Harry? Ron is outside, and he said he'd like to speak with Hermione."

"Oh, to hell with Ron! Tell him to go home," Harry commanded loudly as he marched out of the lounge and to his room upstairs. 

Lavender looked at Draco for help.

"Tell Weasley that Hermione is in no condition to talk right now and ask him to go home," Draco said absently as he patted Hermione on the back. Hermione suddenly lunged herself at Draco and began to cry loudly in his arms.

Lavender nodded and left. They could hear the door open and Lavender speak in the distance.

"Oh, I'll wait for her," said Ron stubbornly.

"That won¡¦t really help you. She's not well and isn't likely to get better until a lot later."

"Then give her these flowers. Tell her that she¡¦s bloody brilliant and is the cleverest witch I have ever met in my life."

The door shut again, and a moment later, Lavender walked in with a bunch of flowers.

"Cheer up, dear. Ron thought you were wonderful. He never suspected that you are not a witch." 

Hermione cried even louder. _Ron. What good would Ron's approval do her? She wanted Harry to compliment her. Why wouldn't Harry do what Ron had done? Why wouldn't Harry say a few kind words like Draco had? Why wouldn't Harry hold her and comfort her at her times of defeat? Why did she want Harry to do all that for her instead of Draco or Ron? _Even Hermione, with her genius brain, couldn't figure out why Harry's approval was so important to her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Harry saw everything through his window. He had heard the conversation between Lavender and Ron. He saw Ron's lovesick face when he had looked up the house singing of his love for Hermione. For the first time, Harry looked down at his best friend with disgust. He really didn't like the way Ron was looking after Hermione.

Then came Hermione¡¦s loud cries, muffled only a second later. Harry suspected that she had been crying against Draco. He didn't like that thought either, for no reason. Harry screwed up his face and poured himself some wine. 

Harry settled down on his chair and turned up his enchanted grammar phone. It had been a gift from Mr. Weasley. Harry could play any song he'd like to listen on the grammar phone just by saying the song title out aloud. Harry said the name of the only song that crossed his mind.

"Reflection," said Harry as he closed his eyes.

"_Who is that girl I see,  
Staring straight back at me.  
When will my reflection show,  
Who I am inside?"_

Harry was lost. A few months back, before he met Hermione Granger outside the theater, he was exactly sure of who he was and what he wanted. He knew that he was the bachelor hero who defeated Voldemort single-handedly. He knew that he was a man who would never marry. He knew he was the man who would break a million girls' hearts for who he was.

Now, he wasn't as sure. Harry had always had a weird feeling while he was near Hermione. He had had that feeling ever since he first met her outside. He had no idea where to put this weird feeling. Was he really falling in love with Hermione Granger, a common Muggle flower girl, who once had the most unpleasing accent ever? Were all his efforts of being mean to Hermione going to be wasted because he had fallen in love with her at the end anyway?

_Impossible,_ Harry thought while he outwardly laughed.

But why would he feel so angry whenever another male admired Hermione?

_Probably because I'm turning into a possessive big brother. I'll just have to work harder and be meaner to keep her away,_ Harry told himself as he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

_Oh really? Ron doesn't get this possessive when Ginny is chasing after you._ A very unpleasant voice whispered a last phrase into Harry's mind, but he blocked the thought out and fell asleep.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Five very stressful weeks passed by. Hermione had been learning Charms, Transfiguration, Potions, Herbology, Defense Against Dark Arts, Astronomy, Arithmancy, History of Magic and other various subjects, nonstop. One thing that worth mentioning, however, was that Hermione did most of the studying on her own. 

Harry and Draco taught Hermione Charms, Transfiguration, Potions, Defense Against Dark Arts and Herbology. They were having troubles keeping up with the speed Hermione was learning. However, other subjects such as Arithmancy and the History of Magic, Harry and Draco didn't offer to teach Hermione for they were either bad at the subjects themselves, or they had never taken it. However, Hermione learned them anyway through her reading. She hardly ever left Harry's library. 

There was only one aspect of the wizarding world Hermione refused to learn: flying. After seeing the first Quidditch game of her life, Hermione decided that flying was a dangerous occupation. She wouldn't step on a broomstick even if Harry, her teacher, was one of the best flyers in the century.

For Harry, those five months were the worst months of his life. He tried his best to be mean to Hermione and barked at her every chance he had. He tried to show people that he didn't care for Hermione at all. He had to endure Draco's snickers whenever he couldn't control himself, and gave out the slightest hint that he did care for Hermione. 

However, worst of all for Harry were Ron's frequent visits. Harry couldn't recall the last time had Ron visited him since their Hogwarts days, and before Hermione moved in. Ron hardly ever came around, for he was too busy working in the Ministry of Magic. Also, Ron hated to go to Harry's house because Draco stayed with Harry, and they never got along. However, now Ron would Apparate outside Harry's house every second day and ask for Hermione. He had been there so often that Lavender asked Harry if the ward against people other than Harry to Apparate inside the house could be taken down for Ron.

Harry hated Ron coming around for Hermione. Luckily, Hermione was too studious to go out with Ron all the time. About ninety-nine percent of the times when Ron came and ask Hermione to go with him, Hermione would refuse without even looking up from her book to see who was there.

Harry also hated himself for not welcoming Ron. Every time Harry saw Ron leave his house alone without Hermione, Harry would chuckle evilly, and he really hated himself for doing that, but it was something that just couldn't be helped.

Finally, Christmas arrived. Hermione finished the last chapter in all her textbooks the night before it snowed. With her knowledge of the wizarding world, she was ready to be tested.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

On the 24th of December, Hermione went out all day with Lavender to Diagon Alley for shopping. Harry and Draco occupied themselves with some activities at home.

Around four in the afternoon, Harry and Draco, in their separate rooms, began to pace. Though neither would admit it, they were both extremely nervous. Hermione would be back soon, and then they would Apparate to Hogsmeade together.

Just then, Draco's door smashed open, and he stormed into Harry's room, looking flushed. "My room is so hot, Potter. Do you want a drink?"

Harry stopped pacing immediately. Although he was also shaking inside, Harry maintained his outward calmness. He pretended to get a book off the shelf and began to read.

"No, Malfoy. Why don't you sit down and calm down for a while. Nothing is going to happen."

Draco stared at him in disbelief. "How can you be so calm? Don't you care about anything? I'm getting some drinks. God knows I need it." With that said, Draco left for the kitchen.

As soon as his door was shut, Harry threw the book he had been holding away (_Hogwarts: A History_? How did it get there?). He then ducked under his desk and pulled out half a bottle of Firewhisky. He opened the lid and gulped down every single drop left of it.

Harry then heard the front door open. _Hermione must be back!_ Harry took a deep breath and walked down the stairs.

What Harry saw in his lounge shocked him.

Hermione stood like a little princess from a fairytale in the middle of his lounge. She wore a sparkly pure white satin dress robe. Shiny white beads and sequences adorned her outfit. Pure white satin gloves clung to her hands as if they had grown on her. A stunning set of a diamond necklace and earrings decorated her bare neck and made her more beautiful than any witch Harry had ever seen. Her normally messy and bushy hair had somehow been pulled into a bun behind her head. Harry swore he had never seen another girl lovelier than the one standing in front of him.

"Hermione, you¡¦re...beautiful," Draco walked into the room nervously and complimented Hermione loudly. Harry quickly snapped out of his trance.

"Um...yeah...very...pretty," Harry muttered softly before he regained his composure. "Anyway, better get going if we don't want to be late. Where's Lavender?"

"Here," Lavender walked in just then. She was also dressed nicely. She held out a deep scarlet over robe to Hermione. "Better put this on top, dear. We don't want to get your robe dirty."

Hermione put it on obediently before they all Apparated to Hogsmeade. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Once they landed in Hogsmeade, the group went into a carriage and headed for the castle.

No one spoke on the way over to Hogwarts Castle. Each person was buried in his or her own thoughts and worries.

Hermione was nervous. She tried her best to remember all the spells she had learned to pass the time. She had read all about the O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s from _Hogwarts: A History_. She supposed that this ball would be like her N.E.W.T. exam.

Lavender was worried. She had heard about Hermione's behavior in the Quidditch Pitch from her friend, Parvati. Although she had seen how hard Hermione had worked over the past months, she couldn't help worrying if the same thing would happen again.

Draco was also deep in thoughts. Unlike Lavender, he had absolute faith in Hermione. However, he was worried that Hermione wouldn't pass under Dumbledore's observant eyes. After all, it was known worldwide that Dumbledore never had missed anything that went on in his castle while he had been there.

Harry's mind, however, wasn't on the same subjects as Lavender and Draco¡¦s minds were. His thoughts were mostly on Hermione; about how pretty she was; how clever she had been. He was, once again, forcing ideas into his own head that he cared for Hermione nothing more than a teacher or a brother.

Finally, they arrived in front of Hogwarts. Gracefully, the four walked into the castle.

"...Mr. Ronald Weasley...Miss Virginia Weasley...Mr. Frederick Weasley...Mr. George Weasley...Mr. Bill Weasley¡KMr. Charles Weasley...." Filch was running out of breath calling out all the Weasley's names as they entered.

"Miss Lavender Brown," Filch announced as Lavender walked in.

"Lavender!" Parvati, Harry's sister, ran towards Lavender and hugged her. The two walked away and disappeared in the crowd.

"Sir Draco Malfoy."

Draco walked into the castle in a military way. Gasps and squeals of girls could be heard from all over the castle. Many even ran up to give Draco a hug or a kiss.

Harry chuckled, "That's Malfoy, always the ladies' man."

Hermione gulped loudly beside Harry as he pushed her towards the entrance. "Go on," Harry said.

Hermione took a deep breath and walked towards Filch, who glared at her and asked for her name rudely.

"Hermione Granger," Hermione said nervously as she began to take off her red over robe.

Filch began to announce, "Miss...." He never finished, because at that instant, Hermione took off her over robe and a dazzling white light blinded everyone in the castle from the entrance.

Men and women surrounded Hermione and pulled her in. Everyone asked for her name. Somehow, no one seemed to be able to recall a girl named Hermione Granger in his or her year.

In the meantime, Harry slipped in. He saw Draco by the Butterbeer table and walked over to him. "Malfoy, how is she doing?"

Draco gave Harry a glass of Butterbeer and grinned. "She's a total knockout. Look!"

True enough, everyone in the castle was trying to get closer to the charming Miss Granger. However, Harry wasn't too pleased when his best friend Ron pushed through the crowd and pulled Hermione along with him.

The music started and people began to dance. Draco watched the dancing with amusement while Harry's eyes continued to follow Ron and Hermione on the dance floor.

_If only I was the one dancing with Hermione, I would... _Harry began to daydream. His eyes never left Hermione for a second.

"Potter, the Weasley girl is coming your way," Draco's whisper brought Harry back to reality.

"Huh? Oh, see you later," Harry mumbled and quickly ran to the other side of the hall.

Behind him, he heard Ginny talking to Malfoy. "Where's Harry? I saw him with you a second ago."

"Potter's gone to the bathroom. Would you like me to keep you company while you wait for Potter?"

Harry couldn't help but look behind him. He saw Malfoy and Ginny dancing together. He never thought he'd see the day when a Malfoy and a Weasley would dance with each other.

As Harry swam through the crowd, trying to keep an eye on Hermione and avoid bumping into people at the same time, he bumped into the last person he'd like to see at the moment.

"Ah, Mr. Potter! What a pleasure to see you _dancing_. I see that you have a very dashing girl accompany you today, who is currently dancing with Mr. Weasley. May I have the please to know her as well?" an old voice rang in Harry's ears.

Harry looked up and gulped. Professor Albus Dumbledore stood before him with a twinkle in his eyes. The second Harry saw Dumbledore, he knew that Dumbledore knew what was happening.

¡@

A/N: Once again, I have to thank all my readers for reading this story. Also, thank you all for the reviews you've given. They (the reviews) are great helps when it comes to writing up my next chapter. Another big thank you will have to go to Stella, my Beta. Once again, she had helped me with my grammar and spelling. Although it's her holiday as well as Christmas/New Year break, Stella had kindly pointed out many of my mistakes. Thanks to her, my story is now more presentable than before. I hope one day, my grammar and spelling will be good enough to make my Beta's work a lot easier. Thank you, Stella. 


	6. Dumbledore and his Tests

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling (Harry Potter series), George Bernard Shaw (Pygmalion), Frederick Loewe and Alan Jay Lerner (My Fair Lady, the musical) various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, Warner Bros., Inc and the MGM movies. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

¡@

My Fair Lady- Dumbledore and his Test

"That...that's...I mean, of course, Professor," Harry replied nervously. He could feel cold sweat pouring down his shirt. _What will Dumbledore do to Hermione? He knows what is going on, as usual. Will he kick Hermione outside, or...?_

Dumbledore smiled when he saw Harry's uneasy look. "It's all right. I won't hurt your dear friend. I'd just like to meet her."

"Well..." Harry gulped. He wasn't too sure about that just yet. _He knows already. What's the point of keeping him away? It's going to happen sooner or later._ Harry gritted his teeth and led Dumbledore over to Hermione and Ron. "Follow me, Professor. I would introduce you to my friend."

Hermione was caught by surprise when Harry and Dumbledore walked over their way. From all the pictures and biographies Harry and Draco had her study, Hermione was absolutely sure that the long bearded old man beside Harry was indeed a man named Albus Dumbledore, one of the greatest wizards around. Upon seeing the troubled expression on Harry's face, Hermione clung tightly to Ron in fear.

"What's wrong, Hermy?" Ron whispered into Hermione's ear.

Under normal circumstances, Hermione would have boxed Ron's ears for calling her by one of her least favorite nicknames. However, Hermione didn't really hear Ron, for her mind was completely concentrated on the great wizard walking towards her.

"Dumbledore..." Hermione whispered; her voice was so faint that even Ron couldn't hear her. Hermione had hoped that she would somehow avoid meeting Dumbledore that night, but there he was, walking nearer and nearer every second, while being led by her teacher, Harry. 

Harry stopped in front of the pair and cleared his throat. "Ahem! Sorry to interrupt your dance, but someone would like to meet you, Hermione."

Hermione and Ron let go of each other and faced Dumbledore squarely.

"Good evening, Professor Dumbledore. I hope you have found the ball enjoyable," Ron greeted merrily, totally unaware of the discomfort the girl standing by him was experiencing.

"The ball is, indeed, very enjoyable. I wish the same for you too, Mr. Weasley." Dumbledore's eyes transferred onto Hermione after he had finished talking to Ron. "And you too, Miss, are you enjoying yourself?¡¦ 

Hermione pulled on the best mask she could manage. "Of course, Professor Dumbledore. I've always found Hogwarts' balls enjoyable."

_Ah-uh, wrong move._ Harry cursed inwardly. _Dumbledore knows anyway. What's the point of pretending, Hermione?_

"I am glad to hear that," Dumbledore replied while his eyes twinkled. He actually enjoyed playing along with Hermione¡¦s game. "Well, if Mr. Weasley doesn't mind, may I have a dance?"

Hermione glanced at Harry, who shrugged. "Of course, Professor. That would be my honor."

Ron and Harry were abandoned by Hermione, who left in the arms of Dumbledore.

"Time for a drink, mate," Ron laughed good-naturally. "Never thought little Hermy could have her way with the great Professor too."

"Hermy?" Harry raised an eyebrow. "You call Hermione ¡¥Hermy?¡¦ She let you do that?"

Ron looked about nervously. "No, not exactly. She doesn't know that I call her that...yet."

Suddenly, Harry was pulled away from Ron. "Hey¡K what on earth is going on?" Harry struggled madly in his captor¡¦s grasp. However, he had no chance in escaping as his captor had a firm grasp on him. 

Harry only had a chance to see his captor once before he was dragged into a boys' bathroom. "Malfoy! What do you want?"

Draco Malfoy had a very worried look on his face. "How could you send Hermione to _him_? He knows everything! He's going to see through your trick immediately. What you did is like...sending your lamb to a canine! What did you think you were doing?"

"Relax!" Harry hissed Draco, not sounding confident himself at all. "He knows already, so there's not much point in pretending. That will only make the matter worse. All we can do is to hope that Hermione will pull it off nicely. Have some faith in her." 

"Well," Draco crossed his arms, "don't blame me when you lose your bet."

Harry grinned dryly and walked out of the bathroom. "Don¡¦t worry, I won't lose it."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

When Harry and Draco returned to the Great Hall, they froze at the sight of the decorations inside.

"This can't be happening!" gasped Harry.

Draco, had he not been the tough _guy_ Draco Malfoy, would have passed out.

The ballroom decorations were completely gone, and in their place were the accessories and decorations used when Harry and Draco had once dueled each other back in the days when Gilderoy Lockhart was the Hogwarts Defense Against Dark Arts teacher. Everybody crowded around the stage. 

Lavender, Parvati, Ron, and Ginny rushed by Harry and Draco's side as soon as they stepped into the Hall.

"My dearest brother, I told you not to mess with that Non-Hogwarts-Trained Muggle. Would you listen? No! And now look what she's done! She's in for it. Dumbledore knew that she wasn¡¦t one of his students the minute she set foot here. You will be in a lot of trouble too for doing illegal things. And that..." Parvati told Harry off.

"Harry, how come you never told me that she wasn¡¦t a witch?" asked Ron. "Not that I mind, but really...."

Ginny interrupted her brother. "Draco, please don't tell me you are in this with Harry. Please say you don't know anything about this...."

"Shut up, all of you!" Harry yelled. The group fell silent immediately. "Thank you. Lavender, what happened?"

Lavender took a deep breath. "Not long after you left with Draco, Dumbledore had a brief meeting with the other professors. They announced that a Non-Hogwarts student, a Muggle-born witch not trained at Hogwarts, had found her way in. They also said that all the professors, including Professor Dumbledore, to prove that she can be here, must test her. We all think they are talking about Hermione, because we can't find her anywhere."

At that moment, the Hall began to chatter loudly, and the group turned to look at the stage. One glance at it confirmed their fear.

"That's Hermione all right," said Draco.

Harry caught Hermione's eyes. In those brown eyes, Harry read fear and nervousness. However, he also read a hint of confidence and determination. Harry smiled reassuringly and nodded, and Hermione smiled back weakly and drew her wand.

Harry turned back to his friends. "Have some faith in Hermione. She knows more than we think. I only hope her vowels and consonants won't fail her."

Suddenly, the test for Hermione began. First up, Hermione had to take up Professor Filtwick's challenge. Hermione levitated a group of people successfully under Professor Filtwick's demand. She also transfigured Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris, into a crystal goblet, by Professor McGonagall's request. Then, she fought off Lupin¡¦s assignment, the Boggart, which had turned into another Harry while saying ¡¥A, E, I, O, and U.¡¦ Much to Professor Snape's dismay, though she had hesitated for a few times, Hermione recited the latest recipe of Wolfsbane out aloud without any mistakes. She also passed other various subjects such as Astronomy and Arithmancy without any difficulty. However, Hermione was facing a slight dilemma when Professor Trelawney came to test her. 

"What, my dear, will be the fate of your friend, Harry Potter?" Trelawney asked one of the easiest questions anyone could answer, for she had made Harry's prediction way too many times.

_Oh no,_ thought Harry. He had forgotten to tell Hermione what to say to pull Trelawney off._ Something awful and she'll give you full marks,_ Harry begged as he looked at her intensely.

"Um," Hermione mumbled, glancing at Harry uncertainly. She had abandoned Divination early, thinking it was rubbish.

_Make an awful prediction;_ Harry did his best to send the message across through his eyes. _Say I will drown, or be murdered, or stabbed to death. Come on, anything that involves a painful death._

" He...he would..." Hermione dared not make the prediction.

"Yes?" Trelawney stared at her expectantly.

Hermione closed her eyes and muttered, "He will cease to exist when his time comes."

Trelawney, who was probably not the most intellectual person in Hogwarts, stopped and thought for a while. _ Cease to exist? Whatever that meant, it couldn't be too good._ "Congratulations, Miss Granger. I declare that you have passed Divination also."

Harry could breathe again, at least until Dumbledore walked on stage.

"Excellent work, Miss Granger. Now it is my turn to challenge you. If you pass this, I will declare that you have officially graduated Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," Dumbledore declared and smiled. In his right hand, a scroll appeared, which everyone recognized as the graduation certificate. In his left hand, a broomstick appeared.

Dumbledore gave Hermione the broomstick and threw the scroll upwards. Magically, the scroll floated in the mid air.

"Miss Granger, as you are well aware, Mr. Potter had been the best Seeker Hogwarts ever had. My challenge for you is to catch that scroll on your broomstick. The minute you catch the scroll, Miss Granger, you will be considered one of the graduated students of Hogwarts. Good luck."

Hermione glanced at the broomstick in her hand. _I mustn't quit now that I had just passed all other tests._ Hermione mounted the broomstick. With a deep breath, she kicked off. 

It was her first time on a broomstick. Hermione focused her mind on the scroll, unaware that the scroll was moving higher as she did. She hated to think how far off the ground she was.

When the scroll reached the top of the ceiling, it stopped for Hermione to catch. Hermione, of course, made a grab for it. However, just as Hermione touched the scroll, she incidentally fell off the broomstick.

"Noooooo!" Harry yelled. "_Accio broomstick!_"

The broomstick Hermione had ridden flew into Harry's hand and he mounted it immediately. Harry shot upwards towards the falling Hermione and caught her, just before she fell on top of a large pile of silver knives.

The Hall burst into applause as Harry and Hermione landed safely on the center of the stage.

"Professor Dumbledore, that was not a funny joke," Harry said. "You should know that Hermione had never been on a broomstick before."

Dumbledore smiled. "Alas, she still did it beautifully with a little of your help. After all, how can I deny our audience such a marvelous show?"

Draco and Ron, down the stage, watched the so-called "show" with their nerves in the air. When they saw that Harry and Hermione had landed, the two enemies wiped sweat off their forehead simultaneously.

"I now proclaim," announced Dumbledore, "Miss Hermione Granger a fully qualified Hogwarts grandaunt." 

Professor McGonagall clapped. She gave Dumbledore a meaningful look, which reminded Dumbledore; "Oh yes, I have nearly forgotten," Dumbledore said. "Let us celebrate the marriage of our two very outstanding professors, which marks the joining of Hogwarts' two enemy houses. Let the wedding begin!"

As the wedding march began to play for the wedding of McGonagall and Snape, all kinds of reactions came from the crowd. Many girls fainted in shock, while some people began to giggle uncontrollably. Many boys had to run for the bathroom in order to vomit. One thing worth acknowledging was the reaction of Fred and George Weasley. The twins pulled out a very innocent looking can of confetti and sprinkled the little confetti all over Snape and McGonagall. However, it was clear that the pair put more on the Potion professor on purpose.

"Look! The bride and the groom are dancing!" George shouted, pointing a finger at the newly wedded professors.

On the stage, the two poor professors began to jump, hop and beat each other up. Obviously, the confetti was enchanted to make people itch.

The night ended in the crowd's laughter and the threats to the twins from Snape. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

When Harry, Hermione, Draco and Lavender finally arrived in their house on Wimpole Street, it was well past midnight. The whole house was in the mood of celebrating Harry and Hermione's achievements.

Draco was, of course, the first to congratulate the pair. He was happy, even though he did lose the bet.

"You did it, Harry! You did it!" Draco shouted.

Everyone was in a crazy mood. Every servant patted Harry on the back and congratulated. No one even thought of poor Hermione sitting in the corner.

With his servants as audiences, Harry told the tale of Hermione's tests as if he had done them himself. Everyone was so entranced by Harry's story that no one paid any attention to Hermione. When the story was finished, all the servants walked back to their room.

Draco yawned. "Well, it's late. I must get going, as I have to get up nice and early tomorrow to get your bet prizes. I've also got a date with Ginny..."

"Ginny WEASLEY?" Harry nearly screamed. "I thought I would be patting myself on the back when I saw a Malfoy and a Weasley dancing together. I must get up early to see you off to your date or I will never live it down! A date between a Malfoy and a Weasley! That is some sight to see."

Draco laughed and left, leaving Harry and Hermione along in the lounge.

Hermione looked at Harry expectantly. She had hoped that Harry, if no one else, would pay her some compliments.

"Well, that was a nice evening, wasn¡¦t it? I must go to bed now. God knows how tired I have been during these past months. Tell Lavender to get me coffee instead of tea tomorrow, will you?" With that, Harry left as well.

Hermione glared after that horrible Harry. As soon as Harry left the lounge, Hermione took off her high heels and threw them against the door Harry had just walked through.

Hermione was furious. Angry tears poured down her cheeks; her eyes were like broken water pipes that just wouldn¡¦t stop flowing. _How DARE he just walk away and take all my credits? He didn't face the professors' challenges, I did. How dare he just leave me here alone without even a kind word! How dare he tell me to get him coffee instead of tea tomorrow morning in that one sentence he said to me tonight? He is going to regret it!_

"Just you wait, Harry Potter, just you wait!" Hermione muttered as she wiped away her tears. She picked herself up from the floor and headed for her room angrily. 


	7. The Panic on Wimpole Street

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling (Harry Potter series), George Bernard Shaw (Pygmalion), Frederick Loewe and Alan Jay Lerner (My Fair Lady, the musical) various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, Warner Bros., Inc and the MGM movies. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

¡@

My Fair Lady- The Panic on Wimpole Street

Hermione Granger stepped out of Harry's house on Wimpole Street angrily with a suit case full of clothes in her hand. She locked the front door quietly and stormed down the stairs. Hermione thought she was the only person on the road, however, she was wrong.

"Hermione!" the voice of Ron Weasley called out to her.

Hermione had no heart to see Ron at that moment. She quickened her pace and attempted to get away from him as fast as possible.

However, Ron stopped her before she got too far. "Speak and the world is full of singing, and I'm winging Higher than the birds. Touch and my heart begins to crumble, the heaven's tumble, Darling, and I'm..."

Hermione exploded. It was three o'clock in the morning and she had just suffered an emotional blow. Here was Ron, stopping her from getting away from her hated professor's house as soon as possible, with his stupid brainless singing.

" Words! Words! Words! I'm so sick of words! I get words all day through; first from him, now from you! Is that all you blighters can do?" Hermione screamed into Ron's ear. " Don't talk of stars burning above; if you're in love, show me! Tell me no dreams filled with desire. If you're on fire, show me! Here we are together in the middle of the night! Don't talk of spring! Just hold me tight! Anyone who's ever been in love'll tell you that this is no time for a chat! Haven't your lips longed for my touch? Don't say how much, show me! Show me! Don't talk of love lasting through time. Make me no undying vow. Show me now! Sing me no song! Read me no rhyme! Don't waste my time, Show me! Don't talk of June, Don't talk of fall! Don't talk at all! Show me! Never do I ever want to hear another word. There isn't one I haven't heard. Here we are together in what ought to be a dream; say one more word and I'll scream! Haven't your arms hungered for mine? Please don't "expl'ine," Show me! Show me! Don't wait until wrinkles and lines pop out all over my brow! Show me now!" With that said, Hermione stormed off and left Ron along on the street, totally bewildered.

"Hermione, wait!" Ron shook his head and knocked himself out of the trance as he caught up with Hermione. "What's the matter? Was it because Dumbledore announced that you are not trained in Hogwarts in the party? I don't mind, truly I don't. I love you for your intelligence. I don't care if you lived most of your life as a Muggle. I love you, Hermione. I'll still love you if you don't have a trace of magic in you. I'll still love you if have never met Harry...."

Hermione broke into tears at the mention of Harry's name. "Don't take about him, Ron. Please! I don't want to talk about it."

Ron shut his mouth up immediately, not wanting to upset Hermione. "Where are you going then?"

Hermione wiped her tears away with her sleeves. "I'm going to the Thames and I'm going to dig a hole in it!"

"Hermione!" exclaimed Ron as he grabbed Hermione's arm. "You can't do that! Dumbledore just gave you the graduation certificate of Hogwarts! You are officially a witch now, Hermione. Are you going to throw all that away just because of some silly quarrels? I don't know what quarrel you and Harry had, but killing yourself for it is stupid."

Ron's words seemed to have woken Hermione. "I've got a better idea! Ron, get me a cab!"

"But I don't have any money!" said a bewildered Ron.

Hermione began to run towards the main road. "Well, I have. Hurry up!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Hermione stepped off the Muggle cab in the square where she used to sell flowers. Her old colleagues were still picking flowers and bunching them together to sell later in the day.

"Hermione?" Ron called from the cab. "Where are you going? Shall I come?"

Hermione shook her head. She wanted to do this alone.

Hermione walked towards her old friends without a word.

"Wanna flower, Missy?" Hermione's ex-best friend asked her.

Hermione shook her head again. A tear rolled down her cheek silently. _Even my best friend couldn't recognize me. What had that blasted Harry Potter done to me?_

"Heya Missy. Ain't it cold out here? Whachu doin' so early in the morning? Come and warm yourself by the fire!" Dean, Seamus's best friend, said to her, not realizing who she was.

Hermione began to sob. _I have no where to go. I can't be a normal witch, as Harry and Draco, on my own. I don't know enough to be one. I definitely can't go back to that damn place, because I don't want to see Harry Potter ever again. I can't even come back and be a Muggle. What can I do?_

Suddenly, a familiar voice called out, "Hermione, what are you doing here?"

Hermione turned her head in delight and saw her brother, Seamus.

Seamus no longer looked like some beggar on the road. He had some decent clothes. He was dressed in a well-tailored black suit. He stopped and examined Hermione. "Why aren't you sleeping in your precious professor's house right now?"

"He's not my precious professor," Hermione retorted angrily. "Where did you get your clothes."

Seamus turned up his nose. "Thanks to your precious professor, I had been dragged into a morality speech competition a week after I visited your professor. I won the competition easily and the blasted society gave me a large sum of money I don't need. I don't want it but I can't refuse either. Am I to take it that your lovely professor kicked you out and sent you to me? Just like something he'd do. Mind you, Missy, I aren't going to take care of you. You'd better get back to your professor's house or start selling flowers again."

Hermione turned away from Seamus. "I haven't been kicked out, but I have no intention to go back either. I can't sell flowers anymore and I certainly am not going to beg you for money. Good morning, Seamus. I hope we won't meet again."

As Hermione stepped back into the cab, she knew there was only one place she could go.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Malfoy! Malfoy! get up!" shouted Harry in front of Draco's room at six o'clock in the morning.

"What?" Draco, still dressed in his night robe, opened his door, rubbing his eyes.

"Have you seen Hermione this morning?" bellowed Harry.

Draco stared at Harry in disbelief. "That's a nice joke. But don't you think it's a little bit early for jokes? I'm going back to bed."

"Oh no, you're not!" Harry seized Draco's arm. "I wasn't joking. I meant what I said. Hermione disappeared."

"What?" this piece of information definitely woke Draco up. "She disappeared? How do you know?"

"I got up this morning and Lavender brought me my breakfast. I got _tea_ instead of _coffee_! I asked Hermione to tell Lavender that I want coffee, but the message never went to Lavender. I asked Lavender where Hermione was, so she went to her room and checked. Lavender said that Hermione had disappeared along with all of her clothes."

"This is a serious problem, indeed. I'll be right back." Draco's closed his door. A moment later, he was back out, fully clothed and had a stake of parchments in his hand.

As Harry paced about the study, Draco began to scribble furiously on the parchments. Both men hadn't had breakfast, but neither noticed.

In that hour, Harry succeeded in pacing out a track in his carpet, while Draco scribbled down twenty identical letters as fast as he could. Harry mumbled and muttered and complained for the whole hour, but could still find things about Hermione to complain about.

"Why couldn't she think with her brains? Doesn't she know that she'll be lost? I do hope she would be gabbled up by some horrid beasts. That'll teach her a lesson. She should have at least told us where she had gone!" complained Harry as he paced around restlessly.

Draco sighed. "Potter, if you are so worried about Hermione, you can at least help me with these letters."

"Worried?" Harry laughed. His laughter wasn't enough to hide his anxiety. "I'm not worried. I couldn't care less where Hermione had gone to. Mind you, I'm still mad that I got tea for coffee this morning."

Draco knew that Harry didn't mean a word he said. He just rolled his eyes and went back to the letters.

When Draco put all twenty letters into envelopes and sent them off by owls, Harry mumbled something like "Imgoingforawalk" and walked out of the house. 

Draco walked out of the study and bumped into Lavender.

"Sorry, Draco. I didn't see you," apologized Lavender.

"It's all right. I've got to go to the Ministry of Magic. We have to find Hermione before any harm comes to her," said Draco as he put on his shoes.

"Harry would be pleased. I know he missed the girl terribly," smiled Lavender.

Draco opened the door. "Oh, blast that Potter. _I_ miss her." With a pop, Draco departed.

"Your date with Ginny!" exclaimed Lavender the moment Draco Disapparated. "Never mind, I guess your date is off now."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Parvarti! Parvarti!" shouted Harry as soon as he stepped into his sister's house.

"In the lounge!" Harry heard his sister's voice calling out to him.

Harry stormed into the lounge and bellowed, "Parvarti, you are not going to believe this...." Harry stopped in the middle of his sentence when his eyes landed on a certain person in the lounge.

"Not believe what?" asked Parvari.

Harry couldn't breathe. In the room, sitting on the couch with his own sister, was....

¡@

A/N: I'm terribly sorry about the delay in updating this story. I had it all written out before Christmas. However, my beta, Stella had no time to Beta my last two chapters for me. Between contacts, we somehow didn't get this message to each other before. I have realized that Betas are harder to find, especially when school begins. Therefore, I decided that I would check over this story myself. I do hope that I have picked out most of the mistakes I had made. The next chapter should be out soon. Thank you for reading!


	8. The Fairest Lady

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling (Harry Potter series), George Bernard Shaw (Pygmalion), Frederick Loewe and Alan Jay Lerner (My Fair Lady, the musical) various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, Warner Bros., Inc and the MGM movies. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

¡@

My Fair Lady- The Fairest Lady

"H... H... Hermione?" Harry gasped.

Hermione rose from the couch and gave Harry a lovely smile with a little hint of sadness. "Of course. I would have thought you'd know me anywhere after we lived together for half a year. I guess I have been expecting too much."

"Do you know how worried Malfoy is?" Harry exploded. He deliberately put the blame on Draco. "He woke up this morning and dragged me out of bed because _you_ disappeared! He said that if I don't find you, I won't be allowed to enter my own house! What made you leave our flawless care?"

Hermione was more or less disappointed. She had hoped that it was Harry instead of Draco who was so concerned. However, the manners and facial expression skills Harry taught her during her stay helped her to control her disappointment.

Parvarti stood up. "Harry, be a good boy and sit down. Have a nice and proper chat with Miss Granger. I must sort some things out for my husband, Thomas." Parvarti turned to Hermione just before she left the lounge. "And, Hermione, I'll give you the full authority to throw my manner-less brother out should he be rude to you. I suggest that the subjects you two talk about are limited to weather and health."

Despite of her sadness and heartache, Hermione managed to keep her face straight. She didn't understand why it was so difficult to leave a man who had treated her so unjustly. She didn't know why she had wanted to please the man, who had been mean and cruel to her, so much. She didn't understand why she should feel disappointed upon hearing that Harry wasn't concerned about her leave at all. There were so many things she didn't understand, just like the night when she first gotten her vowels and danced with Harry. But Hermione figured that she would never find out the real answer.

Like Hermione, Harry's face also masked his concern and anxiety. He just stood and stared at Hermione. He had the urge to grab her and drag her back home with him and keep her there forever. Why he had such thought, Harry had no idea. After all, wasn't he the man who would never let a woman in his life?

"How do you do? Would you like a cup of tea, Mr. Potter?" Hermione's voice snapped Harry out of his trance.

Harry stepped nearer to her. "Come back home with me. Malfoy and Lavender miss you. Come with me."

Hermione began to recite a series of speech Harry had taught her to make her manner more presentable. "No? Well, let us talk about the weather then, Mr. Potter. Do sit down! The weather is fine today isn't it?"

Harry was losing his temper. He grabbed Hermione's hands ferociously. "Hermione! Quit talking nonsense! I taught you all of them and don't just recite them back to me. We don't need a manner lesson today, we need a serious talk to sort our personal life out! What are you going to do, out in the world on your own? Come back to my house with me. I'm sure Malfoy, at the very least, would offer you some suggestion. You'll starve to death being on your own!"

"What do you care if I starved to death or not?" Hermione pulled her hands out of Harry's grasp and stared at him defiantly. "You didn't care when you gave me lessons. You didn't care when you prepared me for the ball. Why should you care now? Never cared about me. You had been mean and nasty and cruel. Draco's sympathy was all I lived on for the past months. Last night, you had been worse than ever. Yes, I helped you to win your bet. I got past Dumbledore. I got my Hogwarts graduation certificate. I did it all, but a bet is what I am. I am nothing more than a bet! I did so much for you. I tried so hard to please you. Yet, you never paid me one compliment. Not last night, not the night before, not a single day while I lived in your miserable house! I'm sick and tired of you. I don't want to go on like that anymore."

"It is compliment you want, isn't it?" demanded Harry. "Why didn't you say so in the first place? Well done, Hermione. You did great last night. Now will you come back?"

"No. I can manage without you. I don't need your compliments. I don't need your sympathy. Do you know what I realized last night when I left your house?" asked Hermione. "What a fool I was. What a dominated fool to think you were the earth and sky. What a fool I was...what an addle-pated fool. What a mutton-headed dolt was I. No, my reverberating friend. You are not the beginning and the end. There'll be spring every year without you. England still will be here without you. There'll be fruit on the tree and a shore by the sea. There'll be crumpets and tea without you. Art and music will thrive without you. Somehow Keats will survive without you. And there still will be rain on that plain down in Spain. Even that will remain without you. I can do without you. You, dear friend, who talk so well. You can go to Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire. They can still rule the land without you. Windsor Castle will stand without you. And without much ado, we can all muddle through without you. Without your pulling it, the tide comes in. Without your twirling it, the earth can spin. Without your pushing them, the clouds roll by. If they can do without you, ducky, so can I. I shall not feel alone without you. I can stand on my own without you. So go back in your shell. I can do bloody well without you!"

Harry was dumb-struck. He never thought that Hermione would say so much in one go. "What would you do then? What would you live on?"

"I can marry Ron," said Hermione, though she knew that it wasn't what she really wanted. "I can teach people how to speak properly. I can start my own school of witchcraft and wizardry. I can do what ever I set my heart on doing."

"Ron? You are going to marry Ron?" Harry was angrier than he had ever been before. "Ron wouldn't take good care of you. He has no money of any sort! Don't come back to my house a year later in rags and expect me to give shelter to you, your husband and your miserable children, Mrs. Weasley! You'll have enough children to give rabbits a run for their money!"

"At least Ron loves me," said Hermione. "Not like some stupid oaf standing in this room, who doesn't care about me at all. If I can't have the man I love, I'll go for the man who loves me!" Shocked by her own words, Hermione rushed out of Parvarti's house.

Harry's jaw dropped as he stared after Hermione. _Did she just told me that she loves me?_

Mean while, Parvarti was back in the lounge. "Harry, where's Hermione? Oh, don't stand there like an idiot! Answer me!"

Harry was still out of his mind. "She... left...."

"I can see that. Did you sort out the problem?" asked Parvarti.

"I don't know," Harry whispered. "Things got more complicated than ever." With that, Harry walked out of Parvarti's house. No, Harry _floated_ out of Parvarti's house.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Harry drifted along the streets towards his house. He was absolutely miserable. His mind kept repeating Hermione's words. _"If I can't have the man I love, I'll go for the man who loves me!"_

Who said that Harry didn't love Hermione? Who said that Harry didn't care about Hermione? Of course Harry did. Why else would he walk around as if he had just lost his soul to the devil?

Harry knew that he was knee-deep in denial. He knew that he had loved Hermione the day she arrived in his house and asked to be taught. He denied his love for her for the past half a year, just because he vowed that he would never give up his _carefree_ bachelor life. What a stupid vow he had made. Because of that vow, Harry kept his distance from Hermione. Because of that vow, Harry hurt and wounded Hermione. Because of that vow, Hermione left him. Because of that vow, Harry lost the woman he truly loved. Because of that vow, Hermione would marry Ron, his best friend.

Harry entered his dark and miserable house on Wimpole Street. The house was so dark that it was scary. It had always been light and colorful while Hermione was there. Harry knew, without Hermione, his house would be as silent, boring, dull, dark and damp as those time it had been before Hermione had been there.

No one was home. Draco obviously was still in the Ministry of Magic. Lavender and other servants probably went out to search for Hermione. Harry was along in his depressing house.

"Damn...Damn...Damn...Damn..." Harry cursed loudly. "I've grown accustomed to her face. She almost makes the day begin. I've grown accustomed to the tune. She whistles night and noon. Her smiles, her frowns, her ups, her downs are second nature to me now. Like breathing out and breathing in. I was serenely independent and content before we met. Surely I can always be that way again. And yet I've grown accustomed to her looks. Accustomed to her voice, accustomed to her face. But I'm so used to hear her say "Good morning" ev'ry day. Her joys, her woes, her highs, her lows are second nature to me now. Like breathing out and breathing in. I'm very grateful she's a woman and so easy to forget. Rather like a habit one can always break and yet. I've grown accustomed to the trace of something in the air. Accustomed to her face."

Harry realized how miserable he would be without Hermione by his side. Hermione had long became a part of him. Taking Hermione away from him would be like cutting his legs off. His life would never be the same again without Hermione there. He had parted from Hermione only an hour ago, but he began to miss her already.

Harry threw himself into his favorite couch and closed his eyes, hoping to see Hermione again in dream, if not in reality.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

After Hermione left Parvarti's house, she went to a park near by. She was also very miserable. She still couldn't believe what she told Harry. _"If I can't have the man I love, I'll go for the man who loves me!"_

Was that true? Did she really loved Harry? Hermione had no idea what would come out of her mouth when she opened it. Maybe she was in love with Harry. Would that be the reason that she wanted to please Harry all the time? It must have been the reason.

Hermione buried her head in her hands. What would she do now? Should she go to Ron and marry him, as he had offered? Or should she return to the house on the Wimpole Street and see how Harry was doing? Hermione felt as if she had been torn in half. She knew that she would never be truly happy with Ron, but she would be humiliating herself if she go back to Harry.

After an hour or so, Hermione made up her mind. She would marry Ron, but not before she had one last look at Harry. Hermione picked herself up and began to walk towards the direction of Wimpole Street.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"I've grown accustomed to the trace of something in the air. Accustomed to her face."

That was the first thing Hermione heard when she stepped into Harry's house. She intended to hide herself from everyone in the house at first, but not after what she heard Harry saying.

_He loves me,_ Hermione's eyes began to fill with tears. She peeked through the door into the lounge and caught sight of a sad looking Harry throwing himself into a couch.

She saw Harry closed his eyes and muttered something like, "Seeing Hermione in my dream."

Hermione could no longer contain herself. She showed herself in the door way and said, "Mister, yesterday you say you would teach me to be a shop keeper. I thought I would take up the offer and here I am. I would pay for my lessons too. How much money would you like for a lesson?"

Harry thought he was dreaming. But he wasn't asleep yet. How did that happen?

"Two pounds a day and more extra! How am I going to find all that money? I earn one pound a day at most! How am I going to find two pounds and more for you? I'm not even allowed to work after this. You... you meanie!" Hermione's voice drifted in Harry's ears once more, even though he had opened his eyes this time.

Harry turned around. He couldn't believe his eyes. He saw Hermione standing in the door way, as beautiful as the day she went to the Hogwarts ball.

"Hermione!" Harry whispered.

The Hermione in front of Harry didn't disappear. Instead, a smile broke on her face. "Yes, Mr. Potter?"

Harry ran towards Hermione and hugged her tightly. "I thought you'd never come back! I will never ever let you go away again! I love you so much...."

Hermione began to sob. This time, however, she was crying tears of joy instead of tears of sadness.

The two were too much into their own world that they didn't hear people returning.

"Eww! Get a room!" Draco Malfoy's fake mockery was the first thing to remind Harry and Hermione of their presence.

Hermione blushed and attempted to get out of Harry's grasp. However, Harry was too strong to be pushed away.

"Go to your own room, Malfoy. Or you can go to Ginny Weasley's room. I'll be glade if you are going over to the Weasleys'. You can tell Ron that Hermione would continue to stay here," answered Harry, still hugging Hermione.

"For how long?" asked Draco gleefully.

Harry pulled away and looked at Hermione intensely. "Indefinitely."

Draco smiled. "That's a good answer." Suddenly, he remembered something. "Oh no! My _date_ with Ginny! I must go to the Weasleys' right now!" With a pop, Draco was gone.

Harry chuckled. Upon seeing that no other people was in the lounge, Harry pulled Hermione into a deep kiss.

When the kiss ended, Harry whispered in Hermione's ear, "The fairest lady is you, Hermione Granger Potter."

"Hey!" Hermione hit Harry playfully on the arm. "I didn't say that I'd marry you!"

Harry grinned. "Too bad, because you are."

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**__The End__**

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A/N: So this story is finally done. I'd like to thank a lot of people for the accomplishment of this story. First of all, I'd like to thank Shooting-Star, who had first posted this idea in the Challenge section of Portkey.org. This story is really for her, even though I can't tell if she's still reading this or not because I haven't received her review for so long. I hope I have blended the story of _My Fair Lady _and _Harry Potter_ together well enough to get an Acceptable from her. Second, I have to thank my first Beta, Meghan. She had only done one chapter for me and had to leave because of her illness at the time. Now, a very big thank you must go to Stella, my Beta from chapter 4 to chapter 6. She is the pickiest Beta I have ever met in my life, but she really did her job well. Getting my fics back from her was like getting my English essay from my teacher. It's a pity that she can't do the last two chapters for her school is starting and she's very busy. Therefore, I had to do my own Beta for these last chapters. I do hope that I have improved since the first two, where no one, not even myself, read over again before being posted. And last, but not the least, I have to thank each and every one of you, my readers. Be you the one who always drop a line after each chapter, or be you the silent reader, I would never have done this without you. I know my story isn't good, but thank you for being patient enough to sit through my chapters and encourage me all the time. Thank you and I shall work harder for the next story I'm currently working on.


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